6 Sanity Saving Ideas for Busy Moms

As my husband prepares to take a job out of state, I've been wracking my brain to come up with ways to manage teaching full-time, commuting, childcare needs, household stuff, parenting our two boys and taking care of myself in some kind of organized and efficient way. We've been apart a few times over the years due to work arrangements (long before we had children), but this time I've got two active little boys, two little dogs & two squeaky guinea pigs to keep alive in addition to myself!

I'm a self-described 'hot-mess-mom' who rarely has it together; I often feel scatterbrained and I'm REALLY good (like master wizard level good!) at forgetting important things like paying the bills on time, showing up on the right day for doctor appointments and filling up on gas before the light comes on to remind me. Sometimes I forget to eat, don't drink enough water or don't get enough sleep and then things feel like they really spiral out of control! Parenting two children alone isn't easy (shout out to all you awesome single parents!), especially when I feel like I can barely keep myself alive some days! If you're one of those moms who really has it together most days, my tips probably won't be all that helpful (you could probably give ME some pointers!).

Here are a few of the simple strategies that I've found helpful for managing my chaos:

1. First & foremost, take care of number one! I wish that I had learned this lesson much, much earlier in my adult life. If I don't take care of my own needs, I won't be able to take care of anyone else's needs. As a teacher, I've applied this concept to my professional life pretty well - you can read about that journey HERE. However, I have struggled to apply it in my non-work life from time to time. Seriously, take care of yourself!

This means eat well, drink lots of water, take your vitamins and medications, sleep as much as you can (sometimes this means that I go to bed at 7:30 or 8:00 with my children), exercise, get fresh air, do something you love, look for moments of joy in your chaos.... squeeze in a bit of self-care every day!

2. Write everything down. Since I forget so many things on a regular basis, I've learned to force myself to write EVERYTHING down -- usually in two or more places. I'm a big paper & pencil kind of person, so physically writing down appointments, sports practices, games and other commitments really helps them stick in my head. Some weeks, I go so far as to write down which days the kids will have baths, what we'll have for dinner (if I actually plan that part) and other seemingly mundane things. I have even been known to write down things that I already did, just so that I can cross them off -- it feels quite good to finish something and cross it off!

I carry a small planner, a mechanical pencil and a few colored pens in my purse all the time - there's often a whole handful of pencils and pens floating around at the bottom of my purse! A pencil is a must for me so that I can erase and change things easily and the colored pens are to help color code things; I usually use one color for my appointments and a different color for each child etc.  I also enter appointments into my phone calendar and set reminders for the day before and two hours before most important things.  The key to this strategy for me is that I absolutely MUST write it down or enter it into my calendar right away - before my mind is on to something else. Periodically I check my phone calendar against my paper planner to make sure they sync up. It's not always neat or foolproof, but establishing this habit has been a real lifesaver in recent months!

My husband thinks that the paper/pencil step of my method is a waste of time, but I think it's essential for me; I NEED to write things down to help remember them. Typing something into my phone calendar doesn't have the same effect as physically writing it down, moving my hands and feeling the pencil on the paper. Figure out what works for you.


3. Pay someone else to do your least favorite task. This idea started out as ' Use a grocery delivery service,' but then I got to thinking that not everyone hates grocery shopping as much as I do. Perhaps there's something else you'd rather pay for someone else to do? I hadn't really thought too much about the idea of hiring someone else to help me with some of the things, but it's been a game changer!

I signed up for a 14 day trial of Instacart the other day and WOW I really love it! So, I got 2 weeks free, but I feel like I got my money's worth on my very first order! It will depend on where you live, so maybe Instacart won't be available in your area, but there are MANY other companies who do the same thing. I was able to get my weekly grocery shopping done in less than 15 minutes! I filled my digital shopping cart with the items that I usually buy. Then, someone else went to the store and picked out all of the things on my list for me. They did all the hard work for me! I didn't need to corral my active children, repeatedly say 'no' their requests for candy & toys or try to race against the clock to finish before my toddler had a melt down.I will happily pay a yearly fee and a 10-20% tip for someone else to do my shopping, load the car and bring it to my house - it saved me time and sanity and allowed me about two hours of extra time to work, spend time with my family or maybe even take a few minutes for myself!

Maybe grocery delivery isn't your thing, perhaps look into having a person or a service help with laundry, house cleaning, yard work, meal prep, taking your kids to and from school etc. While this idea isn't necessarily cheap, weigh the pros and cons agains the cost to see if something like this might be worth it to you. For me, considering at the amount of time and frustration that grocery delivery saved me, I decided it was worth my hard earned dollars to gain a few hours of time each week.


4. Streamline laundry & organize clothing - I also hate laundry, mostly the folding part. My goal is to do one load of laundry per day; I try to always put a load in the washer first thing in the morning before work and then switch to the dryer when I get home. If I can maintain this one load per day quota, I don't fall hopelessly behind and end up with mountains of dirty laundry for the weekend. Folding it is another story all together. Ok, I'll be super honest here, I absolutely HATE folding laundry! I hate it so much that I don't usually fold anything; the best that I usually manage is to sort the laundry into baskets for each member of the household. This method of organization is helpful, but not entirely efficient and I still spend a ridiculous amount of time in the mornings looking for socks and underwear for everyone.

I have tried Marie Kondo's methods and I even binge watched her show, but I simply cannot focus long enough to precisely fold clothes like she does; I just CAN'T  Kondo our clothes! Recently, I started to group my children's clothing into rolled up bundles that include an entire outfit: socks, underwear, pants, t-shirt, sweatshirt. Each week, I try to make sure that I have 6-7 entire weather appropriate outfits for each child and leave the rest of their clothes unfolded and sorted in their designated basket, with the outfit bundles on top. Each weeknight, instead of pajamas, I have my children dress in their outfit for the next day; this works well because my older son refuses to wear jeans or anything that might wrinkle anyway. So, as long as they don't wet the bed or wet through their diaper, they're ready for school and daycare right out of bed -- just add shoes and coat!

5. Food prep on Sundays - The food prep that I'm referring to here isn't anything like an extensive Whole-30 sort of meal prep; I've it that in the past and failed miserably. I'm talking REALLY simple stuff here! Each week, meal prep at my house means something a little different. Sometimes, it means that I buy 10 Lunchables and other times, I might make homemade lunchables by cutting and packing meat, cheese and crackers. I usually put each complete lunch into a large Ziploc bag and keep the bags all lined up in the fridge; to pack a lunch, I just dump the contents of the bags into the correct lunch bag and set the empty Ziploc bags in a pile to reuse the following week.

Over the weekend, I also try to make something that I can reheat for dinner several nights during the week and plan 1-2 crock pot meals that will also have plenty of leftovers. When I fail to plan, we resort to quick and easy things like eggs, cereal or take-out for dinner because both of my children will happily eat these basic foods - for the record, I probably couldn't serve cold cereal for dinner to my husband without getting the side eye!

6. Put all the things in the car for the week - We have sports practice several nights a week and sometimes other things that we need to do. If I can, I try to pack up whatever we might need for the week ahead of time. Each kid has a duffel bag that I pack with extra clothes, drinks, snacks and whatever equipment they'll need; my toddler's bag is filled with a large blanket to play on, baby wipes & diapers, extra toddler friendly snacks, toys & books to keep him busy while we're at his older brother's practices. This way I don't have to stop and waste time and money on the same items from the gas station. AND don't forget things for yourself; I also keep a stash of healthy low-carb diet friendly snacks & drinks, a book (which I rarely get to read), a notebook & pencils (for writing down lists & ideas), extra headphones etc.

Any other sanity saving ideas to share?

   

Coping in the Classroom: Teachers Dealing with Depression & Anxiety

Teaching is hard.

No really... teaching is REALLY REALLY HARD.

Teaching can be so incredibly stressful, overwhelming and tiring. That stress often follows educators beyond the school day, creeps into their personal time and seeps into the cracks and crevasses and into every aspect of their lives. The stress that I'm talking about here is just the 'normal' stress that pretty much all teachers deal with. This high level of job related stress can become almost unbearable when combined with other common mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

If you're a teacher (mother/father, wife/husband... human....) who struggles with depression and/or anxiety, you are NOT alone!

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, nearly 40 million American adults deal with some type of anxiety or depressive disorder. More specifically, about 16.1 million American adults are affected by Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and depression is the LEADING cause of disability in individuals between 15-44 years of age. About 6.8 million American adults are affected by Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and women are nearly twice as likely to be affected as men. And to top it off, anxiety often co-occurs with depression! Those stats are NOT just a drop in the bucket; there are millions of people out there dealing with this!

I personally have dealt with my own anxiety and depression for more than 15 years and have only recently come to understand it better. I struggled silently for far too many years and kept my challenges a secret from most of my colleagues and friends. I felt ashamed and even felt that anxiety and depression made me a less competent educational professional. I've finally come to know, beyond a doubt, that anxiety and depression do not now, nor ever did, make me any less of a person, teacher, mother or wife; if anything, depression and anxiety have absolutely made me a stronger and more self-aware person!

For the record, the following isn't intended to be used a medical advice. I'm just sharing the coping strategies that I've found helpful over the years in hopes that something on my list might also help others. I've also included affiliate links for specific products that I personally LOVE and find helpful.

1. See a professional - Don't be ashamed to ask for help - revisit the stats above to remind yourself that you are NOT alone! If you're struggling with stress, anxiety and feeling depressed, this is where I'd start. Find a professional to talk to: a social worker, psychologist, religious counselor etc. Unless you're certain you need medication, you don't need to go straight to a psychiatrist; then, if and when the time comes for medication, a primary care doctor might be willing to prescribe and manage medication if you can't see a psychiatrist right away.

2. Fuel your body with something healthy -  Try to remember to care for your body a little. This can be really difficult when you're sinking into depression and/or anxiety. Eat something healthy a few times a day. I strive for as much balance as I can find in this area because my first response to stress and feelings of anxiety is often to eat unhealthy, high fat comfort foods like french fries, cookies or chips or not to eat anything at all. This is where I employ things like a good multivitamin, a high quality fish oil supplement, a green food supplement and easy usually pre-packaged ready to eat (because preparing healthy food when I'm feeling lousy isn't going to happen!) healthy foods like green juice, pre-packaged salads and packs of veggies, fruit, yogurt, nuts etc. This doesn't always work, but I figure that if I eat a salad with my french fries or green juice after the chips or cookies, I'm probably better off than if I skipped the fruit and veggies all together.

3. Move your body - Research suggests that 30 minutes of exercise, 3-5 times a week can be very  helpful in the treatment of anxiety and depression; even as little as 10-15 minutes can be beneficial! I find this strategy very difficult to actually employ when I'm feeling my worst, BUT when I can get my body moving, I feel so much better almost immediately! I've used a Fitbit to track my steps and challenge myself to hit a minimum step count daily. If you can, get out of your classroom during your lunch break and talk a quick walk around the block or to your car to get your heart rate up.

4. Find someone to confide in - Once I started talking about my anxiety and depression with a few trusted coworkers, I immediately felt like a weight was lifted; I was no longer carrying around this shameful secret that no one around me knew about. On days when I'm  really struggling, I let my classroom assistant or teacher friends know and they check in on me, remind me to take an extra bathroom break or just offer a smile when the day gets crazy. Surprisingly, I don't think anyone has judged me harshly or made me feel bad about my anxiety and depression; in fact, I've come to find that many of my colleagues can relate because they have had similar struggles of their own.

5. Remember that 90% is still an A - This is often my go to strategy for when my anxiety gets bad quickly.  I've worked very hard to reframe my expectations for myself on any given day; there is only so much that I can realistically accomplish. I have come to realize that perfection isn't required to be successful, so I've lowered my expectations a bit. Realizing this has taken a huge weight from my shoulders and allowed me to spend just enough energy to finish the things that NEED to be completed and have a little energy left over for myself.

6. Do a little self-care - Find something that you enjoy and do it. Remember to care for yourself a little each day because a small bit of self-care here and there can go a long way. Somedays this means stopping for a coffee on my way to work (or simply having good instant coffee on hand at work for the days that I forget!), walking through a charming local bookshop right after work or listening to my favorite music on my commute. Other days it  means leaving my kids at aftercare a little longer so that I can walk around the thrift store or go get my nails done before I pick them up. Sometimes it means having a glass of wine and ordering takeout when I'm just too tired to cook. When I have a lot of trouble unwinding so that I can actually enjoy these fleeting moments of self-care, a cup of tea, some of this raspberry lemonade or a couple of these homeopathic tablets sometimes help.

7. Try to Think Positive - Consider starting a Gratitude Journal or choose an #anchorword to focus on. Centering your thoughts on something that you're grateful for can be helpful for some; writing down and coming back to the things you're thankful for can remind and retrain your brain to focus on the positive rather than the negative feelings that you're coping with internally. I started #anchorwords to help refocus my thoughts on productive and positive things rather than the chaos that my anxiety was stirring up. Check out my posts on #anchorwords for more ideas.

    

Do you have any other suggestions to add to the list? Feel free to comment!

#anchorword RECHARGE

The end of this school year really seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks! Life felt like it was moving at break-neck speed and the moment that one task was completed on my to-do-list, five other pressing tasks seemed to magically appear. As soon as school was out, the to-do-list of tasks just continued at home. For the first weeks of break, I was constantly busy catching up on tasks that I simply didn't have the time to keep up with during the school year. Three weeks into break, I still didn't feel like I've rested or recharged my batteries much. Since I head back to teach summer school soon, I really needed to find a way to recharge!

It took me a little time, but I finally retreated from my endless 'to-do' list at home and have settled into a holding pattern of doing as little 'real work' as possible, spending time with my family, reading, drinking iced coffee on the porch, going to the pool, visiting family, barbecuing on the grill.... It feels nice... but now I have less than a week before I'm back at summer school. If only time would slow down a little...

As teachers (and moms, dads, husbands, wives...), we often become so focused on taking care of others that we forget about taking care of ourselves. *raises hand* I'm guilty of putting everyone first and forgetting to care for me. Recharging our own batteries is vital to our ability to engage fully at home and at work. Think about what the flight attendant says in their pre-flight safety speech: "Place the oxygen mask on yourself first, before helping small children or others who may need assistance." I try to think of self-care as my oxygen mask; with out oxygen, I can do nothing.


Here's your reminder (and permission) to take care of yourself. Recharge your batteries; put on your oxygen mask first!

How do you #recharge your batteries and relax?

#anchorwords - BALANCE

The concept of 'balance' in the life of a working mother feels pretty much impossible. Despite the effort that we put into seeking that idea of balance, we never seem to get there and it never feels balanced enough regardless of how hard we try. *sigh*

I'm absolutely positive that I'm not alone in feeling like true 'balance' is just about impossible to achieve.

I've recently come to the understanding that seeking balance on a daily basis probably isn't possible, but looking at the bigger picture - like by the week or month - a different type of balance might actually be possible. I've adjusted my expectations of what and how much I can do in any given day and have started focusing on finding balance during the week.

During a given week, I attempt to balance how much I work with how much time I'm spending with my family, I balance housework with being a vegetable on the couch, healthy food with junk food... you get the idea. I figure if there's some semblance of balance in these things, I must be doing OK - right?!

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony" Thomas Merton

I also consider 'balance' in my classroom - as a teacher focus on balancing direct-instruction with student-led activities, academic work with fun activities, high-energy with calming activities etc. We can't expect our students (or ourselves) to constantly engage in highly academic, teacher-led activities - that's just exhausting for everyone! Striving for balance in the classroom aims to maximize the potential for student learning and enrich their learning experience without making us teachers completely bananas!

How to you approach the idea of 'balance' in your life?

#anchorwords - LAUGH

Sometimes, when the going gets tough, we lose sight of our happiness and our laughter is silenced. In theses quiet moments, we forget that something as simple as laughing can be enough to turn things around. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves, find humor in our mistakes and restore happiness to life. So today, my #anchorword is: Laugh

I first pondered this thought when I was away at a conference with thousands of other teachers. Although I didn't really know anyone at the conference, I was able to connect with a few teachers over drinks. I quickly realized that it had been far too long since I spent time with 'friends' and found myself laughing uncontrollably about something mundane. After spending a little time with like-minded professionals talking, laughing and eating, I felt recharged and more passionate about teaching that I had in months! Laughter really is amazing medicine!

Make a little time to laugh today... find humor, connect with friends and laugh boldly!


I'd love to hear about your thoughts on this #anchorword....

Anchor Words in the Midst of Chaos...

A few months ago, in the midst of life chaos, I began a series of posts on my Instagram feed called #anchorwords. The concepts of an 'anchor word' began during a very stressful time in my life where I found myself faced with many upcoming transitions -- packing a household, preparing our home to sell, moving to a new state, starting a new job and then the daily challenges of balancing work and family. I felt overwhelmed with my life and needed something to focus my mind on to keep me steady and 'anchored' to my changing world; I needed to find my zen and cultivate my own mindfulness practice... that's when #anchorwords was born!

Each week, I picked a word to center my thoughts around and look for inspiration and steadiness across all of the different aspects of my life. I sought out related quotes and Bible verses that connected to my #anchorword and looked for ways that I could apply my meditations to my work in the classroom. Anytime I started to feel especially overwhelmed with life, I'd pull out my phone and take a look at my word on my Instagram feed - almost immediately I'd feel more grounded amongst the chaos.

In the coming weeks and months, I will be sharing some of my #anchorwords.  I encourage you to pause for a moment in the middle of your own chaos to see how it might be helpful in your own life. My hope is that these thoughts on teaching, mothering and wife-ing might bring peace, focus and grounding to some aspect of your own life.

Enjoy.